"If your job is your identity, you're going to really struggle."

Tennessee Lady Vols basketball coach Kim Caldwell gave birth during the middle of last season. In her first season coaching the Lady Vols, Caldwell coached the club's Jan. 19 game with Vanderbilt, gave birth the following day, and was back on the bench a week later for their Jan. 27 game with South Carolina. (The fact that Tennessee lost all three games undoubtedly ate at Caldwell, but the Lady Vols ultimately reached the Sweet 16. )

And while that particular set of circumstances will never apply to the vast, vast majority of football coaches, coaches of all sports and genders are both human beings working in an all-too-often all-consuming profession while life happens all around them. When Vols basketball coach Rick Barnes was asked for his advice to Caldwell on being an SEC head coach and the parent of a still-infant son, Barnes's advice spreads far beyond her specific circumstances and applies to coaches of all sports at all levels. 

"This is what we do, it can't be who you are. I'd say that to any coach. If your job's your identity, you're going to really struggle," Barnes said.

Barnes comes by his advice the hard way The 71-year-old has been in coaching since 1977. Heading into his 11th season at Tennessee, he's won 232 games on Rocky Top, and prior to that won 402 games in 17 seasons at Texas, 74 games across four seasons at Clemson, 108 games in six seasons at Providence, and 20 games in one season at George Mason. That's a long way of saying Barnes has been a head coach more than half his life. 

"I did it," he continued. "I put (the job) first, and those were some of the worst times of my life that I wish I could go back and be 36 years old again. I'd do so many things differently because I lost my way. Thank God that He didn't leave me. That's my foundation now, my relationship with Jesus Christ. The fact is, if you make this bigger than it is, it'll eat you alive."