To hear one coach tell it – OK, that coach was Shane Beamer, and he came off remarkably petulant – his team lost because the “chain gang was eating a hot dog.”
Another coach vowed to keep receipts – and no one is certain if Deion Sanders, aka Coach Prime, has kept Zach Barnett’s one-win receipt.
Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz found refreshment in scoring – “any time you score.” And, to be fair, Ferentz is accurate on the heels of an historically bad scoring offense for the Hawkeyes – under the tutelage of his son, Brian Ferentz.
Luke Fickell – Wisconsin, not Cincinnati head coach – Luke Fickell basked in the moment of his debut at Wisconsin. Well, a little bit.
Brian Kelly’s “failure” and Butch Jones .. well, with a quintessential Butch Jones remark.
Onward …
SHANE BEAMER HAS RANDOMS CATCHING STRAYS
South Carolina was physically handled by North Carolina in the Duke’s Mayo Classic, and the Gamecocks lost, 31-17, in a game they trailed by three scores.
No matter. Third-year Gamecocks skipper Shane Beamer had just one disappointment in the game: the hot-dog-eating chain gain.
“Do we have any stats? Anybody?,” Beamer asked postgame. “Kind of the story of the night. The clock was wrong the whole damn game. We’re trying to kick an onside kick to start the second half and we’ve got to wait on the chain crew because they’re eating a hot dog. That’s the only disappointing thing about tonight. I don’t know what things came out to be statistically but not good enough. Had our chances.”
South Carolina was outgained by nearly 100 yards, closed with minus-2 yards rushing and had a six-minute deficit in time of possession.
But, sure, Coach. Go off. Blame the chain gain. Ridiculous.
YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT?
Before this past weekend, Arkansas State actually had given up 70 points in a previous loss.
It just so happened to be before any current member of the Red Wolves’ current roster was born – a 70-14 loss to LSU in 1991.
A-State’s most recent, soul-crushing defeat –73-0 at Oklahoma – officially ranked as the program’s worst. Of all time.
Butch Jones had some wisdom – or babble – after the shellacking.
“You have to not lose the game before you can ever win the game,” Jones said.
A-State, it would seem, lost this game before kickoff.
HISTORIC PERSPECTIVE
As his Notre Dame team punctuated a unifying weekend that saw the university heavily engaged in the community with its 56-3 win against Tennessee State, Irish coach Marcus Freeman also took time to reflect on the moment.
Notre Dame hosted TSU -- the first time the Irish had played a Football Championship Subdivision team in its history and also the program's first-ever matchup with an Historically Black College and University (HBCU) program.
"As I just addressed the team, sometimes you have to take a minute and reflect on what an opportunity it was for our football program to play in this game," Freeman said. " To be the first team to play not only an FCS opponent but an HBCU, it's really important and it's humbling, especially being an African-American head coach. This is what you want for college football.
"As I told Coach Eddie George after the game, I'm honored to be a part of this game with him."
REFRESHING JUST TO SCORE
A year after seeing his team setting offensive football back decades, and seeing his son’s contract amended because of such in the process, Kirk Ferentz was asked about Iowa’s offense making time stand still – or just scoring a couple of early touchdowns against Utah State.
“It's refreshing any time. Any time you score, any time you move the ball, it's a good thing,” Ferentz said.
FILE THAT AWAY
Humility? Nah. Not in this postgame setting. Not on the field. Not in the press conference.
After his Colorado team shocked most of college football, new Buffaloes coach Deion Sanders, aka Coach Prime, was, as normal, not at a loss for words.
“We got all the receipts,” Sanders crowed.
He wasn’t finished.
“What’s up boss, you believe now?,” Sanders asked a reporter who tried to pose a question. “Hold on, hold on, hold on. Do you believe now?
“I read through that bull-junk you wrote. I read that, I sifted through all that. Do you believe? You don’t believe. You just answered. Next question.”
BREATHING TECHNIQUES
Luke Fickell now is a full-time, Power 5 head coach at Wisconsin. It’s seemingly an ideal match, at least here in the honeymoon phase.
After his Badgers had cruised to an opening win, Fickell was asked if he had been better able to embrace this moment.
“I took a couple of deep breaths there at the end of the third quarter as we got rolling in the fourth, but that would probably have been the only time,” Fickell said. “But it was awesome. It was. I recognize that. To play in front of that crowd, and, to be honest with you, it's hard to hear. It really is. You're supposed to be at home.
“There's times when you're able to hear and make some things when your offense is out there and it's difficult.”
LSU’S IDENTITY CRISIS
It would be hard to guess that LSU actually led Florida State 17-14 at halftime Sunday night.
The Seminoles eviscerated the Tigers in the second half; the Noles outscored LSU, 31-7, across the game’s final 30 minutes.
Second-year LSU coach Brian Kelly, on the heels of an SEC Western Division title campaign and as a trendy College Football Playoff pick, did not mince words postgame.
“We thought we were somebody else,” said Kelly, Notre Dame’s all-time wins leader but still chasing an elusive national title. “We thought we were the two-time national champion Georgia Bulldogs or something.
“I don’t know what we thought, but we were mistaken.”